| Message | After 34 years of "professing faith", and sporadically attending different churches, I was tired and miserable of my sinning and finding no help in the church. I prayed for him to just let me die because I was too chicken to kill myself. No I was not suicidal, I just saw this as the only answer to my misery. Two years ago in His Mercy I saw that, YES, I AM A SINNER DESERVING OF DEATH, but I HAD NEVER SURRENDERED MY LIFE TO HIM. I took "church" as part of what he meant by surrendering. I realized that My Bible and my knees have ALWAYS been at my disposal. Maybe If I used them, I could have the relationship I needed.Well I now have a JOY that only comes from HIM because He Loves me, is Merciful and boundless Grace. "Church" is now a friendly empty place to me and I have stopped attending and have my own one person church in my apartment. I have grown more in the last two years thyan the previous 34. I have needed this "alone" time with God. I was not able to go out into the "desert" to be with Him, so He has provided the next best thing. Now I am desiring to ful fill my relationship with Him by joining with other brothers and sisters whose life in this world is a surrender to be faithful, obedient and living so that we will bear much fruit and be used for His will and purposes. |