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| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location |  |
| Story | Just Sophie |
| Author | Saffron |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | WOW! There is such power in this story. I sensed it more than read it in the words, but it's definitely there. Emotion is a difficult thing to portray with words, but I felt what Sophie felt as I read. By the end, I wanted to take her in my arms, give her a nice soft hug and tell her it would be OK. You did a wonderful change of moods when Sophie learned Christopher was married. In one breath, she was light-hearted and happy, and in the next, I felt her world collapse. At the end came another, the last line - "I couldn’t trust myself, you see, I still loved him." I didn't expect that, and I loved it because I didn't see it coming. I really liked the erotic descriptions too. They were enough to start my imagination without overpowering me with graphic details. I didn't need those details. My imagination did just fine, thank you, a little too fine really. If you write like this in every story...well, my tight jeans got considerably tighter as the story progressed. There were a few grammar things I noticed, but they didn't really detract from the story. I think that's because I was really hearing Sophie talk as I read. Most people don't use proper english when they speak, so it felt OK for those things to be there. Now all I have to do is find out what the hell is a weekly quiz and a zebra crossing. |
| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Jan's Story |
| Author | Wanda45 |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | OK, I don't smoke cigarettes, but I need one after reading this. As erotica, this was good. As a written work, it was also good. I liked the way the story flowed, from her feeling of tension to deciding on the massage to deciding she wanted the massage to become more intimate. That flow give the story a reason to be. It would have been possible, and indeed common for some writers, to condense the build-up to one paragraph of "I was tense so I decided on a massage. After I felt her hands on me, I knew I had to have her." Taking it slowly, as you did, and mixing in her feelings as she decides gave her a personality I could believe. Your descriptions are very good. I like to be given hints so I can paint my own picture, not have that picture drawn for me in infinite detail, and your descriptions allowed me to do that. My, my, what pictures I painted too. It's interesting that your character likes the word "cunt". That single word told me volumes about her that were reinforced by some of her self-description. Again, this gives a character depth without describing in detail. As a suggestion, for your next story, try wording some sentences so all of them don't start with "I" or "She". The story will read a little easier if written in this manner. Try using a name instead of "she", or perhaps change the order of words to put the pronoun somewhere other than first. A nice story that gave me much...uh...pleasure in reading. |
| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | A Naughty Christmas Wish -- with AUDIO |
| Author | sweet_p |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | A very romantic and erotically woven story, full of surprise and passion. Your reading of the tale enhances what was already a terrific story. You narrate well, pausing and sighing and taking in breaths at all the right moments. You have a lovely voice that compliments your words and makes for a perfect combination. Very enjoyable! |
| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Scrapyard |
| Author | Aahlu |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Incredibly descriptive story, filled with imaginative ambiance and interesting characters. I love how your words instantly whisk the reader away into a fantasy world all of your own creation. I love some of your phrases and passages. My particular favorite is: "The very same brew is used for cleaning the insides of jet guidance nozzles and as a fuel in some of the settlers cooking stoves. A half pint glass of the stuff when swallowed as quickly as possible makes a very refreshing drink, so long as one does not attempt to draw breath in between gulps. Alright, I am aware people have been known to spontaneously combust mid swallow." Your writing is delightful and is always a new adventure to embark upon. I never know when I begin one of your tales, what exciting place I may visit, or whom I may meet. It is always fun, and always enjoyable. Thank you for sharing your unique writing style. |
| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | The Reluctant Awakening |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Great character and plot development, with a fine story that unfolds at a lovely pace, just perfect in its timing. You give plenty of detail and background, so by mid-story, we feel that we have known your characters for a good long time. The reader develops a comfort level with them. This helps us to enjoy the intimate scene later, that much more. Since we know and understand your characters, we can involve ourselves even more deeply into their world. Your characters have superb depth, on many levels, and are very real for your reader. You do an admirable job offering a personal glimpse into a life you can only experience from a distance. Well done!! |
| Date | 03-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Jan's Story |
| Author | Wanda45 |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | You write very well, with excellent detail and terrific descriptions. The words you choose bring the reader into your fantasy world and make them feel what your character is feeling. I loved the languid pace of your story. It was perfect for the subject matter. I enjoyed this superb piece of writing and look forward to reading more stories from your talented pen. |
| Date | 03-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | One Of The Stories I Didn't Write |
| Author | Aahlu |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | I loved this glimpse into the working mind of a writer of fiction. You handle the narration so beautifully, you had me 'wowed' from the very beginning. The perspectives and humor of your piece are brilliant and sly in their approach. You capture the imagination of your audience so very well! |
| Date | 03-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Just Sophie |
| Author | Saffron |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Superb story, expertly read. A wonderfully written, emotionally grabbing tale, that begs you to read on until the very end. The narration is flawless, adding dimension to perfection. Thank you so much, Saffron, for sharing your story with all of us. |
| Date | 03-Mar-2010 |
| Story | just sophie |
| Author | Saffron |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Saffy....this one as always took my breath away...i felt Sophies pain as she over heard the conversation..how devastating for her...awesome story...well done...and the audio with it was amazing.....i would love a part 2 to this.... |
| Date | 03-Mar-2010 |
| Story | just sophie |
| Author | Saffron |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Saffy....this one as always took my breath away...i felt Sophies pain as she over heard the conversation..how devastating for her...awesome story...well done...and the audio with it was amazing.....i would love a part 2 to this.... |
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