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| Date | 09-Mar-2010 |
| Location |  |
| Story | Plastic Patty, The Girl from C.L.I.T. |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | A very enjoyable romp through a very imaginative and inventive reality. It was a great way to write a story, from the point of view of Patty, and I found that worked very well. While I found the story a bit on the longer side, for the material at hand, I fully enjoyed where you went with your plot. I feel that some less critical parts could have been condensed without detracting from your story, and perhaps the tightening might have improved it. Otherwise, it was funny and perceptive on a number of different levels, and I enjoyed reading this story quite a bit. |
| Date | 09-Mar-2010 |
| Location |  |
| Story | Computer Repairs |
| Author | Gina Kincade |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | aha I thought, here is someone else who writes stories with a personal touch. I enjoyed reading all about computer repairs though I do wonder what Bill Gates would make of it. It is good to see another new author contributing to R~SVP. |
| Date | 08-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | The Museum. part one |
| Author | British Gent. |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | Aha! Time travel and sex combined! A good story so far. I'm looking forward to part two asap. Thank you British Gent. |
| Date | 08-Mar-2010 |
| Story | Plastic Patty, The Girl from C.L.I.T. |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Message | I have to say that went completly over my head. I am sure for the more intelligent readers it was a fantastic read, as your work normally is. I think I may have to read it a few times to 'get it'! |
| Date | 08-Mar-2010 |
| Story | Computer Repairs |
| Author | Gina Kincade |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | Welcome to R~SVP Erotica, Gina! A hot short story, well written and enjoyable. I hope you give us the pleasure of more of your work. |
| Date | 08-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Plastic Patty, the girl from C.L.I.T |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | I can honestly say this is the best SciFi short story I have read in years! It has everything going for it, humour,wit,facts and fictions as well as a risque element. What is more, in spite of its length it is an easy read. Bravo Ravenquill. |
| Date | 08-Mar-2010 |
| Story | Plastic Patty, The Girl from C.L.I.T |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | What an amazing mind you have! I loved this unique tale, being a bit of a nerd myself, made it all the more realistic for me. |
| Date | 06-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Jan's Story |
| Author | Wanda45 |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | A thoughtfully written story from a writer new to R~SVP which I shall review in Aahlu's Choice. Thank you Wanda45! |
| Date | 06-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | Reluctant Awakening |
| Author | Ravenquill |
| Rate 1~5 | 4 |
| Message | The difficulty with any short story is, as always, to keep it as short as possible without either losing the plot or making it over elaborate, I enjoyed reading this tale though I think it may be too long to keep some readers attention. The characters are well described, Middle America well represented and the tale could have been taken from life as it is lived almost anywhere. Many people will be able to identify with both subject matter and scenarioes and I would say there is scope for a longer tale, cut into two or perhaps three parts. This would give the writer scope to develop the characters further. Thank you Ravenquill. |
| Date | 05-Mar-2010 |
| Location | |
| Story | A Naughty Christmas Wish |
| Author | sweet_p |
| Rate 1~5 | 5 |
| Message | Very nice writing, sweet_p. I will admit is was a little "chickish" for me in some spots, but there was enough of a man's fantasy in there to keep me reading and...uh...to keep me reading. Your descriptions of both the erotic and non-erotic scenes were done well. I got the "feel" of the chalet quickly and that made the action flow properly. I don't like to see a room being described in the middle of a sex scene in order to make that scene seem plausible. You didn't do this. Instead, you set the stage, then put your characters on it, and let them act their parts. The erotic scenes were arousing to say the least, and best of all, they were very believable. For me, the main characteristic of erotica is that the actions of the characters are at least plausible. This work is definitely erotica - hot and steamy, but what I could see a couple really doing in that setting. As a suggestion, on your next story, try mixing up the "I's" and "he's" with different wording. When most sentences begin with "I" or "he" it's easy for a reader to lose his or her place. Instead of "I (what you did) and he (what he did)", try writing, "because of (what you did) he (what he did)" or something else to put the pronoun in the middle of the sentence. Just a suggestion. A nice story. I hope you write more. |
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