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| Date | 12-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | Dear DFM Sorry to hear about you fellow players not liking you ,you have not really got a lot going for you.I suggest you give the wife less housekeeping so that you have money to spend,stop dancing alltogether and invest in a wig (it works for kev) you should then start to see the rest of the team warming to your new generous pony tailed image. I suggest when this works to enforce your position as a liked member of the team suggest to Steve Kamil he does the same but with a face transplant instead of a wig. I will be happy to consult you further when you realise you have BO as well. Dartdre |
| Date | 12-12-06 |
| Location | |
| Message | To mrs Legend Nice to see that the LEG END has released you from your cooking Ironing and washing his soiled under chunders duties (His words not mine) to give us an in-site into being married to a Gnome on Speed. It never ceases to amaze me how a woman of your beauty and wealth is married to a man with more ARSE problems than George Michael,when you have genuine Dart superstars about like Dave OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH Meara and Mike the gentleman. Never forget you should not be behind him you should be under him (well at least for 10 seconds) ONE SWALLOW DOES NOT MAKE A SUMMER BUT IT DOES MAKE A NICE END TO THE NIGHT!!!  |
| Date | 12-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | DEAR DARTDRE I am a reasonable dart player but the rest of my team do not like me they make fun of my 70's style dancing and accuse me of never buying a drink. I think I am a hit with the chicks although I comb my hair with a sponge. I have also been dropped by the county squad because they dont like me for the same reasons, oh and because I keep loosing. Please can you give me some advise so that my team mates will like me and become a superstar of the county squad again. please reply in confidence as I have taken great care to conceal my identity. |
| Date | 11-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | behind every good dart player there is a good women no wonder kevs shit he must b getting worried prostitutes r droping like flies  |
| Date | 11-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | just been talking to my mate barry mr hearn to you and ive got free tickets for the 19th at nite at the tavern not a lot left c me tues if u want some £4 for the bus  |
| Date | 11-12-06 |
| Location | |
| Message | message to the future ( kev )so u r in mid life probs first thing i suggest is empty your sacks i find it hard to throw when im full / next is play against the x team (not floyd)that shoud help a bit if that dont then play the girls (not shaz)if that fails there is always crib team over legion |
| Date | 11-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | Having reviewed the message board over the last few months it is obvious that some of you hunky darts players have pent up sexual emotions coupled with personality disorders which are effecting your abilities to throw consistant darts. Dear Dartdre has just finished advising the Aussie Cricket team and is now ready to help you dart players of Rayleigh to improve your Arrows. Please tell me in strictist confidance any personal or sexual problems and i will give you free advise that is guarenteed to improve your performance on the Oche and in the bedroom. I await your Problems.  |
| Date | 11-12-06 |
| Location |  |
| Message | He may go out dressed as Harry Hill but he is nothing like him HH is a great bloke to be with and has a great sense of humour unlike Kev. Then again after seeing the state of the Gorleston Gobblers you would need a sense of humour to sleep with them |
| Date | 10-12-06 |
| Message | I wonder if you could give some advice to my friend He has just lost 4 four games in a row, think he’s going through a mid life crisis, He goes out at night dressed as Harry Hill. Please Help Concerned from Rayleigh  |
| Date | 10-12-06 |
| Message | to Santa's helper A Alarm Clock |
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