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NameAahlu
Date07-Feb-2010
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StoryChula's Way by Ravenquill
MessageThank you Ravenquill for a very enjoyable, and believable story - one I can easily identify with! The personal touch at the end finished it nicely!
There were a couple of typos and a mis-spelling - feinted instead of fainted but otherwise a perfect and well written tale.


NameSaffron
Date07-Feb-2010
StoryTime on my Hands
MessageYour whale of toe was charming as was the voice of your leading character. Your writing talent must be the way you perfect the setting of your scenes along with a dash of humour bringing life to everyday scenarios. I want that armchair feeling too! Bravo!!


NameSaffron
Date07-Feb-2010
StoryA Romantic Halloween ~ by Scott Noir
MessageFirstly how great it is to see a new writer with us, thanks for your submission!

A spooky tale of romance simply told and although the plot was a little predictable the piece was well written and certainly set the scene for what was to unfold.

Look forward to reading more.


NameAahlu
Date07-Feb-2010
Locationclick picture for more information
StoryA Romantic Halloween
MessageWelcome to a new writer on RSPV! A good story for Halloween and all the goings on we can expect then. A bit in the Truly, Madly, Deeply genre, when wishes comes true often in ways unexpected.


NameSaffron
Date07-Feb-2010
StoryThe Making of the Amulet ~ by Aahlu
MessageQuite bizarre - always captivating to the end, your writing is a page of unknown direction keeping the reader in wonderment as to where you will take us. Again you did not disappoint.


Namesweet_p
Date03-Feb-2010
Locationclick picture for more information
StoryThe Lesson
MessageI always wanted to learn! From how you write, I bet you would be a great teacher! I love your stories, Q. They are so sensual. So many details...so much to love about them.


NameAahlu
Date28-Jan-2010
StoryBehind the Mask of Akimo - A Virgin Geisha
MessageThe mixing of cultures is always exciting and this story describes in some detail just such a mix. It is potentially a holiday romance which I enjoyed reading because I could visualise the characters described quite readily, though some continuity streamlining would help the story to flow. I did find the occasional Americanism jarring also the confusion of names at the top of page four. The physical act of intercourse itself was nicely worded as were the borderline girl on girl elements however I feel the hero did become erect rather more readily than he might have done in real life! I think I would have either made the story rather shorter, shortening some of the earlier parts (bearing in mind many peoples short attention spans)or gone the whole hog and made it a much longer tale perhaps in three or more parts. Certainly there is potential for a tale of perhaps a hundred or so pages. I particularly liked the last parts - for her, for him, for them. The other off putting element for some, though not for me, may be the use of Japanese words and terms. Had I written this today I would have put it away somewhere for six months. After that, a careful read aloud, some additions, some deletions and a lot of ideas for a sequel.


NameAahlu
Date28-Jan-2010
Locationclick picture for more information
StoryShoe Whore by GiCWrites
MessageI liked this story a lot! Very appealing theme, very easily believable venue and characters and a smooth flowing storyline.


NameSaffron
Date28-Jan-2010
StoryHot Bubbles ~ by peppercorn
MessagePepper a flawless piece as usual! You had me captured from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing!


Namehis_response
Date27-Jan-2010
Locationclick picture for more information
StoryGod The Snowdrifts
MessageThis one had me chuckling. Well written, and fun to read.



Minor critique: There seemed to be a word missing near the beginning of the story, and a minor typo nearer the end. Otherwise excellent!


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