| Message | I lost my girlfriend, she shoot her self in the temple, brain,infront of me I tryed to do cpr on her, tried to get the ambulance to give her help but she did not make it,they say she did not suffer alot but how can someone say that if they did not go throuht it themselves. I was taken in to get question and pictures and then the detective came in and told me "you know she did not make it, she was deceased," that was the 1st time I heard that word,I felt like if I was in a tunnel,felt that somehow she was holding me down so I would not go crazy, angry at the world,god, at the fact that I was in jail, and taken it out on the cops,and made things worst for me.It has been 2 years 22 days and writting this makes my body go through different emotions,a rush all over my body a knot in my troat, a deep sadness and it feels like day one. She was special ,just like all the good people that die,only god knows the purpose of her coming into my life for only 8 months and leaving us like this.Her family,friends, my self,my neighbor,my ex girlfriend.This completely changed our lives, left us with a horrible nightmare where we will never be able to wake up from it only because it is reality.I feel guilt ,why could I not stop her from shooting her self, it was my gun, that picture of how she did it,the sound,the smell, how she fell,how fast it happened,the blood,the hole in her right temple,the ditective doing there job, finger printing me with the powder,one day we will see each other.loveu |